Individual Therapy
If you’re like me, then no one taught us how to feel our feelings! Or even what it means! And, if you’re like me, not knowing how to feel your feelings means we’re stuck thinking about them. That’s frustrating! It makes it hard to get close to people and hard to feel joy.
And if we don’t know how to engage with our felt experience without being overwhelmed, then we may end up stuck in our nervous system’s survival mechanisms, which over time starts to looks like anxious, ruminative, complex trauma, depressive, and dissociative disorders.
Hi! Welcome! I hope that you’re doing okay right now, even if things feel rough.
Here’s the pitch: if you feel bad and generally want to feel better, or if you feel okay and you want more, then my suggestion is to set the goal of learning to engage deeply with your physical, emotional, and cognitive experience. Your experience of life is determined by your what it is like to engage with what is happening in front of you and inside you, and learning to pay attention to what is happening is the first step in having a different experience of life or mental health or relationships.
The good news is that the brain is very adaptable and good at learning new ways to engage! It’s never too late to have a different experience, I promise. It’s never too early, either!
I was taught how to feel my feelings and live happily in my body by many good therapists and teachers and a father with a tremendous capacity for care. Plus a ton of trial and error! And I can offer this whole pitch from my very real experience that the more I feel the more I feel.
If you want to read a little more about what therapy with me looks like, feel free to keep reading. And, if any of this resonates then please reach out! Even if just for a 15 minute call to chat about what’s going on.
Here’s the quick and dirty how:
Identify the problem! You probably already know! If you don’t know how to say it, let me help! I’ve got a lot of words I can teach you for describing what’s wrong (and what’s right!).
Figure out what underlying thing is driving the behavior. This part involves slowing! way! down! in session so that we can actually figure out what’s happening under there. Your brain might try to stop us! That’s okay! We call them “Defense Mechanisms” and they’re very human! They’re really good clues, in fact!
Here’s a spoiler! The underlying thing is probably left over from a long time ago! Lots to say about this! Short version: you do have an inner child and you do need to meet them! Parts Work!
Science version: certain anatomical bits of our brains form when we’re young! Most of them in fact! Most of our brain is in the same shape (with the same neural connections) that began forming when we were young! Many parts of your brain were built by a five year old! Or a ten year old! Or a fifteen year old! Or by trauma!
The sooner you open to this idea the sooner you feel better!
Meet the underlying thing a different way! This is the fun part! If we can actually identify the need and meet it with curiosity and care, then you’ll stop doing the thing! You’ll feel better! Promise! It works! Simple (not easy)! Very human!
If you want to hear more about how, then call me! I have a ton to say about why the specific type of therapy I do works. And it works! For now, I would point you towards Tori Olds, PhD who has taught me much of what I know about how the human brain and body work together to create our experience of consciousness.